Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Beggining and End

As I posted earlier about being in a new relationship, I guess I am posting about it's end. When you meet someone and are aware of their life style, getting into the relationship is like an agreement to accept them for who they are and to accept a certain lifestyle. I decided to date a musician: a fiddle player. A very intelligent fiddle player. I knew that there would be tours and periods of him being away and I accepted them and dealt with the alone periods with grace. When it comes down to it, I am very loyal and patient, however my patience only last so long. When he is here and barely has time for me, especially during the holidays (that's when I need the most emotional support), and he has to lightly pencil me in, that's when I know that it's 'time'. I realized that it would be best to support him and his goals as a friend (and maybe take another shot at the relationship later), instead of his neglected and angry girlfriend.

It would be more effective that way; he would stay in my life and I have the understanding that when things calm down (if they ever) that I could be there too. If not, friendship is the first thing you need to start any successful relationship even if there no 'relationship' to graduate upon. I took a step down from a position to metaphorically take a step up. The sadness will subside, and life will go on. Is it better than crying alone at night even though you 'have' a boyfriend? I'm not sure. I guess time will tell. I still care for him deeply, and might have been falling in love with him, but I know I can love him more this way, unconditionally. That's what true friendship is ...unconditional.

2 relationships in one year? Fun. Please God, can I have one that last more than a year. Please?

I just want to love someone, and be loved in return.

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